I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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