So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
