Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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