I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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