I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize