I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize