I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
