I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
is it fun? or sober?
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
