im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
