So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Randomize