If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
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