I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
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