just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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