is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
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