Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Randomize
