After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
