i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
