Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
