I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
