Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Acid is not a monday night drug
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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