brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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