i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
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