It's Friday. Sex?
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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