I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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