i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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