I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
