Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
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