It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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