Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
being pregnant is like rehab
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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