The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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