Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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