sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
