sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I'm getting married
To pizza
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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