But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Randomize
