I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
We're not piercing ourselves today.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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