Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Randomize
