I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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