i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Who wears a wallet chain?!
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
