He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
