It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Never underestimate the power of titties
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
