She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
