I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize
