real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Randomize