Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
