I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
pray to the hookup gods
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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