hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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