i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I wish I could punch you in the face.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
