i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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