honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
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