LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
