rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
