Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Randomize
