I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Do vagina's smell?
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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