And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
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