I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
You need a sexual gate keeper
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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