Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
operation have a gay friend backfired
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
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