How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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