They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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