Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
Randomize
