Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Randomize
