I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
