Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
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