She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
My ATM looks so different sober.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
