how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Randomize
