CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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