This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Randomize
