I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I take back everything I said about communal showers
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize