420 ftw
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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